


S5E21 Gaza

by JDPostEpisodeChallenge, mlea7675



Series: Josh & Donna Post Episode Challenge [66]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama & Romance, Episode: s05e21 Gaza, F/M, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:33:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28958748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JDPostEpisodeChallenge/pseuds/JDPostEpisodeChallenge, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mlea7675/pseuds/mlea7675
Summary: An exchange of emails sent as an afterthought changes everything-and brings comfort during the most terrifying day of Josh's life.
Relationships: Josh Lyman/Donna Moss
Series: Josh & Donna Post Episode Challenge [66]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1087419
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	S5E21 Gaza

Airplanes are funny things, Josh thought. On some flights, like the flight to Chicago during the first campaign, you just close your eyes, and boom! You’re there before you can blink. But on others, the hours spent in the air seemed to be interminable. Unfortunately, this flight seemed to be one of the latter. 

Josh was flying in the air to Germany, feeling more lost and more lonely than he had in a long time. 

It had only been about seven hours since CJ had come to him with word of the explosion in Gaza. Three people were dead, Donna had been critically injured and airlifted to Germany, and he had lost it outside the Oval Office. 

He could hear his words as if they had happened yesterday. “We need to kill them all!” 

And Leo had listened quietly, before telling him the words he had been waiting to hear: “If there’s somewhere else you need to be, we’ll all understand.” And then Josh had bolted to his office, picked up his jacket and laptop, and ran. He hadn’t even stopped at his apartment. He had gone straight to the airport and wormed his way on the next flight leaving for Landstuhl. There was no way he could leave things the way they were. 

Especially not after what had happened over the last few days. 

Josh rested his head on the headrest, then decided to pull out his laptop. He hadn’t read Donna’s emails in full yet, but he remembered one particular email he had read the previous day, almost as an afterthought... 

… 

_ One day earlier, the West Wing:  _

_ Josh was sitting in his office, reading his emails when he saw one from Donna. When he saw the length, he simply skimmed through it, barely catching a line where Donna talked about how the meetings in Palestine were just as coma-inducing as the American ones. He complained later to Toby that she hadn’t mastered pith, but he secretly enjoyed how many details she had put into it-even when he didn’t have time to read them.  _

_ The second day, he again saw one-this time about the streets of Gaza:  _ _ “What strikes you is something else: idleness. The sense of the people waiting but with no expectation. It's hard to convey...During our pre-dinner break, I met an Israeli settler family. Two days before, a mortar round had exploded in their kitchen.”  _

_ He continued to read, somehow finding himself entranced by the eloquence with which Donna wrote about the people, the empathy she had for these people. And then, he read something that stood out to him, that to his eyes, changed everything:  _

_ “I wish that you were here, Josh. To see these people, the hurt and the heartbreak they’ve experienced. We always seem to understand the issue at hand when each of us brings to it our own thing. I don’t know, maybe seeing all of this is making me realize that life is way too short. And we just make sense together. CJ says that the only reason I’m still at the White House is because of you. And maybe she’s right. And maybe I’m just rambling right now, but I do know that when we get back, I want us to talk about our future-assuming we have one. Maybe it’s time we figure out what it is we really want from each other, because life is short.”  _

_ -Donna _

_ Josh couldn’t believe what he was reading. Had Donna just confessed her feelings for him in an email while on a Congressional delegation? It was a bold move, to be sure. But she wasn’t wrong, was she? Josh sat back and thought about all the times they had flirted flippantly with one another, the time she had helped him with his PTSD, the limo ride and throwing snowballs on the night of the Second Inauguration, the comfort he gave her last year when the Donovan Morrissey case had gone so badly. Why couldn’t he admit to himself the truth?  _

_ He was totally, completely, head over heels in love with Donnatella Moss.  _

_ The thought hit him like a lightning bolt. He looked up at his computer screen. It hadn’t come from out of the blue, he reasoned. It had started as mutual respect for one another, then slowly evolved into something deeper. In fact, if he was being completely honest with himself, he had fallen in love with her the day she came to the campaign.  _

_ He had been in love with her for years, but today, Donna had taken the first step. She had put a name on his feelings, and now, the thread of conversation had been opened, daring Josh to reply back.  _

_ Suddenly, before Josh knew what he was doing, he was writing a reply. It was brief, but he hoped it was to the point.  _

_ Donna- _

_ First of all, I loved reading your emails. They’ve given me a perspective that I honestly hadn’t even thought about. You’ve done good work.  _

_ Second-regarding your email of May 25-I don’t know where we’re going with this, but I’m ready to find out. I’m ready for you to be mine.  _

_ See you when you get back. I’ll be waiting for you.  _

_ -Josh  _

_ He hit SEND.  _

  
  


_ Meanwhile, an ocean away, Donna was writing an email to Josh about her day when, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that she had an email from Josh. That’s strange, she thought. He hadn’t yet replied to any of her emails. When she opened the email and read the three lines that it contained, her heart stopped in her chest.  _

_ One particular part kept playing in her brain over and over like a broken record: “I’m ready for you to be mine.” They were the words she had been hoping to hear for the last seven years. Now, they could talk about pursuing a relationship. They could explore the connection that had bound them together for the rest of their lives.  _

_ But suddenly, she remembered the guy asleep in the bed behind her. Colin. It seemed weird to break it off with him before she left for home, but they were just having a fling, right? It didn’t mean anything. What she had with Josh, though, that meant a great deal.  _

_ The next morning, before the CODEL went on a tour of the border, she politely, but gently broke it off with Colin. He was far more understanding than she thought he would be and asked if they could still remain friends. Donna agreed, and Colin, as a friend, met her at the Erez Checkpoint to introduce her to one of his military friends and to see her off.  _

_ That was one of the last things she remembered.  _

_ …  _

Josh arrived at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany in record time. After what seemed like hours, and asking at least five separate people where he could find Donnatella Moss, the victim of the American bombing, he was finally getting some information. 

He let the information Col. Leahy gave him sink in. Broken femur, collapsed lung, multiples cuts, bruises, and abrasions. It would be a difficult recovery, but Josh hoped that Donna would let her help him-the same way Donna helped him after Rosslyn. At least she was alive. He practically collapsed to his knees in relief. He did actually have to put his head between his knees for a minute; he was so relieved he thought he would pass out. 

And then, when he finally got into her hospital room, the sight of her alive-bruised, broken, but alive-made him weak with relief, and yet concerned more than ever for her life. He couldn’t lose her. Not now. Not when they had finally discovered what they meant to one another. 

He sat by her bedside and took her hand, being careful of the tubes and monitors that surrounded her. 

“I’m here, Donna.” He whispered. “I came right from the White House. I didn’t stop for anything, not clothes, not even red lights.” The last part came out as a chuckle. “I guess we have things we need to talk about. First, I’m really sorry this happened. You don’t deserve what happened to you, and I don’t ever want you to feel guilty about surviving. Because I know you survived for a reason. 

I read your email-you know, the email where you professed your undying love for me. In fact, I read all your emails on the way here. I read the same paragraphs over and over again because I could hear your voice in my head. And I didn’t want to ever stop hearing the sound of your voice, just in case it was the last time I ever heard it.” 

He moved closer to her, gently stroking her blonde hair, dulled by the Middle Eastern sun and by the dirt and glass still in there from the accident. “Come back to me, Donnatella,” he said to her. “Don’t slip away before we even get a chance. I-I love you.” 

He looked up in surprise, smiling wryly as he realized that it was the first he had said those words to her out loud. “I love you.” He repeated with more conviction. “I’ve never stopped loving you. And I know now that I never will.” 

The next morning, Josh had fallen asleep by her bed when he heard the nurse say, “Hi, there. You just wake up?” 

He thought he was still dreaming. But then, he heard Donna’s voice say hoarsely, “My mouth is dry.” And he knew he wasn’t. 

She had come back to him. 

It was late in the morning, after the nurse had come and gone, when Donna finally asked, “What you said in your email...did you mean it?” 

Josh blinked in surprise. “My...email?” He didn’t think she had read it, much less retained what it said after all this time. “You read it?” 

“Of course I read it,” Donna replied weakly. She thought about Rosslyn, about everything, and strengthened her resolve. “It meant a lot to me.” 

“It did?” 

“Yes.” Suddenly, despite her pain, Donna shifted forward. She made a decision to do something that would speak more about her feelings for him than any words would. 

Josh leaned toward her. “What are you-” 

But he was cut off by Donna’s soft lips against his. He immediately melted into the kiss that he had waited nine years for. 

When they pulled apart, he said, “Are you sure?” 

Donna nodded. “Yes, I am.” 

“We’ll have to work out your job situation when we get back,” Josh said, treading carefully. “But I’m ready to listen. I am. I can’t lose you again.” 

“You won’t” she assured him. “I don’t know a lot right now, but I know that I love you.” 

Josh grinned. “I love you too.” 

They kissed again. It would be a hard road, they knew, but they would be together.

… 

Colin came to Germany as a friend. He was following the story, sure, but seeing the woman he had been with not an hour before reduced to a bleeding corpse hanging upside down in the Suburban had shaken him badly. He had taken pictures as an automatic impulse, a photographer’s instinct, but now he couldn’t even bring himself to look at them. 

He came to Germany; again, purely on instinct. He had to see for himself that she was alive, maybe offer companionship that might otherwise be lacking. He didn’t know if she had any family. 

Then, he met Josh. The man who was fiercely protective of Donna, who was reduced to a nervous wreck when Donna had to be rushed back into emergency surgery. And Colin could see the truth. Donna didn’t need him to be there, even as just a companion. She had Josh. 

Josh was in love with her, and there were no romantic prospects for him whatsoever. Not that there would’ve been, anyway. Even when they were in Gaza together, he knew that there was someone else, lurking in the shadows. 

They had just been friends, he had accepted that two days earlier. And they might keep in touch as such. But she had someone else, he told himself. It was time to move on. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this! Let me know what you thought!


End file.
